Le Temps Qui Reste

This evening I watched a poor local film acted by Jacky Cheung and Tang Wei. It is poor because the director, who's also the script writer, fails to reflect her story idea effectively. It looks more like a TV drama than a proper film. There is reason for local film industry being so weak.

I often recall the French film Le Temps Qui Reste, which is about the final time of a man diagnosed with serious disease. I do not remember every part of the film, but what impressed me is that he spent his last moment at a beach facing the sunset - this is how the film ends as well. I still remember I once had a dream at one night, that I knew I was going to die and I was lying on a comfortable beach chair with a glass of fruit punch, facing the sun. In that scene, I was able to see how I was like as I was just watching at my back, but for some reason I knew that was me. That's why I found it kind of shocked when I was watching the last part of the film; and that is why I love the film a lot.

This is not the first time I wrote about this film. It only means I cannot forget my dream.

Signals from the Body

A famous writer once wrote on his column that there is a quota for everything in our life. This happens both physically and mentally One example is that the doctor will tell you on one day sooner or later that you cannot smoke your cigarette anymore, or else it will kill you. Another more relaxed example on himself is that on one day he suddenly cannot write anymore for he has not the least interest nor muse anymore. This is his personal life experience - the over 70-year-old man is on the way to his final life episode.

I recalled this article because recently my stomach always complains. It complains when I eat too much / too late / too early / too less / too oily / too heavy. It also complains when I eat something I has been favour a lot and healthy, like mushrooms. I still like mushrooms a lot, but I cannot have them much anymore. This is a signal from my body that I must control my diet. The time to eat as I wish is gone. I am trying to get used to this.

I can imagine how I will gradually lose the power over my body and my mind. This is a part of the life cycle. Then I shall ask, why do we create so many tasteless hardships ourselves?

Relationships

When we are small, we tend to play with people of the same sex. In the age of 20-40, or 50, we enjoy spending time with people of opposite gender. Then when we are close to death, we gradually stay with people of the same sex again. This leads me to believe that we start and end with a simple ion, despite having a complicated time in between. Where I have come from is where I am heading to.

Relationships - I always agree that human is a sociable creature that we need to live in a group, which is why we have neighbourhood, community and society. However, I cannot deny that this is actually not necessary. Once there are more than two persons, there's politics. People randomly come across my life, and randomly leave my life for their own way. It is impermanence.

I lost my mobile recently that I lost most of my contacts. As always, I do not feel that I need those contacts urgently or desperately. In fact, once again it only proves how much I do not need them. I have arrived to this world alone, and I shall leave this world alone. Sounds so much like a circle - very small in one end, then grow to the biggest in the centre, ending the smallest again in the other end. Relationships, I found that after all, are not necessity. I may need one relationship, but it does not matter much if I lose it. There is nothing to lose in our life.

One may well call this as pessimism, yet I do not see how this may hinder me from reaching happiness. Happiness is impermanence.

I have noticed that most things do not weigh as much as they appear to be.